I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I checked into jail on foursquare
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
