You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
