can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
