i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
