the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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