You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
