I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
