What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
