Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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