What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
