I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
