I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize