Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
