I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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