My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
