Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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