Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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