Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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