my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
