It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
