Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
