ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
