o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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