last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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