he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Your cock deserves a montage
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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