I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
