im having a threesome with these popsicles
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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