how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Too much gin, very little bucket
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
