Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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