Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
