Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize