If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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