I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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