Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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