Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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