I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
