Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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