We're facebook friends in real life
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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