I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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