Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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