Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
