The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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