I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm too high and old for this...
All I want is dick and wine.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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