i barfeds in our rink
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my liver is dry heaving
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
