She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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