i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
