this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
