atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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