Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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