who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
