Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
