I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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