so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
