I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
