i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize