Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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