hotel room ftw
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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